she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
