We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Randomize
