Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
