sorry about calling you the devil all night.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
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