3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
