About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
I'm in the line at Chipotle thinking: "What combo will best prepare my body for the open bar I'm going to subject it to tonight?"
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
