I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
It was around the time I started requesting "big girl straws" from the bartender for my jack and diets, that I knew I'd probably wake up with my sunglasses on and find my wallet in the shower.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
