I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
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