my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
