How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
Your penis caused this!
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