Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
