where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
