bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Even my vagina gasped.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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