I cannot find my penis.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
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