would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
