so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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