there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Randomize
