...so i touched it.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
