My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize