Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
Randomize
