it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I gotta figure out which 7 tampons in the box contains the drugs
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
