U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
the condom got lost in my hair
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm getting married
To pizza
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
