FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
