I skipped work to stalk him.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
