she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
