will power is for people who don't want to get laid
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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