i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
