no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You took a bar mat shot.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
