Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Never underestimate the power of titties
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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