Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
you know you've been playing too much mario kart when you see a curve in the road ahead and see yourself drifting around it
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I'm sorry, the person you're trying to reach is WAYYY too high to deal with this right now.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Randomize
