I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
