why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
