Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
Randomize
