I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
