But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
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