I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
