let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
I am naked and annoyed.
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
