Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
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