and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
