it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
omg he fucking fingered me this morning. and i was just like this is the most awkward alarm clock ive ever had
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
