Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
