Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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