doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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