Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Randomize
