you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Sorry my hands just texted you
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
