is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize
