his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
