Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
