where am i from again
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
We had to coat check the pizza.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
