You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
