i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
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