Pappa wants mamma naked
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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