HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
