I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
