I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
