i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
Randomize
