gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
