I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Being drunk with magicians is fucking mind blowing. This Asian guy just made a platypus appear and disappear. This is not a drill.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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