please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
