she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
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