I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
