its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
