I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
