They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
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