im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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